A Few Things About Adulting

adultingcoverYes, I’m writing about adulthood today.

Okay, okay. I’ve only been an official adult for eight-ish months now, so I claim no expertise in this realm, but I figured that I have a lot of younger teens reading my blog who will appreciate the tidbits I’ve learned so far. Besides that, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to grow up, and I don’t know, but my blog seems like a permissible place to share my thoughts. So take this post for what I hope it’s worth: some casual advice to kids who are (as I was) terrified of the prospect of 18.

Now for some hashtag real talk.

It’s not that much harder, just more complicated.

Let’s face the facts. Most people think adulthood will look like this:

Han Solo is ecstatic!

But in reality, most of the time it actually looks like this:

Here, a reason of many why I will miss Matt terribly. This gesture is perfectly that of the little boy who loses something precious. Sure he’s not a boy, but what I love about Eleven/the Doctor is that there are so many elements of a child in him. After all he’s somewhere around a thousand years old. He’s dealt with so many joys and so many pains. Bound to make you kind of backwards forwards, right? But it’s the actor who totally goes deep inside and recalls being the child …

Yes, adulthood is harder than the other teen years. Just like tenth grade was harder than ninth grade. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. The truth is, adulting is a combination of regular teenage school and work, a few new tasks thrown in, and paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. If you’ve ever self-published, you know what I’m talking about: money plus government always equals paperwork.

Adulthood is no exception. You’ll be doing almost exactly the same things that Mom used to make you help her do, except this time you have to write it down in case you get audited. And how do we survive that? Well, if you’ll pardon a bit of bandwagon: if everyone else can do it, so can you.

Which brings me to the next point…

It’s okay to ask for help.

sherlock

No one is born knowing how to file tax forms. Everyone at some point has asked Mom how to write out a check. Never has anyone become too good to ask one’s truck-loving neighbor about the best brand of antifreeze windshield fluid. They just ask people about things. And do you know the best part? If you ask, people will answer.

Yes, some cashiers will look at you sideways when you ask, “Do I swipe the card now?” and one or two of them may in fact bite your head off for it. If this happens, smile politely, move on, and make a note of not patronizing Mr Bumble’s establishment again. But in the last seven months of adulting, I’ve learned that most folks are of the regular, decent sort. They are willing, eager in fact, to help a well-meaning young person learn the same things they had to learn twenty plus years ago. Besides, once you’ve found someone who likes to help young people learn how to adult, you’ve probably found a good friend, which is always a plus.

We can be adults at home, too.

This one makes my head spin. As soon as I turned eighteen, I started hearing the inevitable train of questioning. Where am I going to college? When am I going to move out? What the heck- why would I not move out on my own? I can’t make sense of the logic (or lack thereof) behind it: if moving to a different locale changes the nature of one’s entire being, why not just trade rooms with a sibling? Obviously, adulthood has little to do with location. Whether you stay at home or move out is beside the point; money, personal maturity, and environment are much more important factors.

Lookit me! I’m adulting!

But, people say, how can we grow up when we’re dealing with such dysfunctional family members? Surely that is a reason to move out. Okay. Maybe you’re in a situation where you should not under any circumstances stay with your family; there’s just no living with certain people. In that case, go right ahead and God speed ye! But the rest of us have probably just paved our floors with eggshells. Duh, people make mistakes (that’s what people do), and if we have that much trouble living with the ordinary, well-meaning, annoying people who raised us, we’re probably just as bad. Are we really expecting ourselves to function that much better in a dorm with other ordinary, well-meaning, annoying college kids?

Of course it’s not wrong to live in an apartment rather than your parents’ house. In fact, it may make more financial sense to move out, and the change of responsibility might be good for you. (Truth be told, hardly anybody cares where you keep your stuff for the next four years of your life.) But don’t let peer pressure make your decisions for you. Look critically at your options, and whatever you decide, be confident in that choice. Just do your thing and be an adult no matter where you are.

It’s about the attitude change.

When it comes down to it, being an adult means everyone’s attitudes- including yours- need to change. The minor-adult law is kind of arbitrary. On the morning of your eighteenth birthday, are you suddenly endowed with a new spirit that seventeen-year-and-364-day-old you didn’t have? In a fantasy world, maybe, but not here. To summarize a long and boring history lesson: the government realized that kids grew up somewhere between the ages of ten and twenty, and it picked the nice even number of eighteen.

This is both electrifying and unnerving. Suddenly, you have an unrestricted license and can drive wherever and whenever you like. You can buy anything (except alcohol; that has to wait three years) and do anything so long as it’s within the limits of the law. Freedom!

But you’ve watched Spiderman; you now have great responsibility. At age seventeen, if you stole money from a cash register, the cops yelled at your parents, who in turn yelled at you and made you pay back the goods. Now, if you steal at age eighteen, it’s on the record forever, and you’re a thief who has to answer to the law. The government’s attitude changed; society’s attitude changed; they’re expecting your attitude to change, too. And that seems unfair, but hey- welcome to life. You’ll get used to it.

shrugging

My life isn’t over.

Being an adult is actually kind of fun. In Texas, turning eighteen gives one the privilege to drive at any time of the day and with as many friends as one likes. Under normal circumstances, adults can go anywhere in the world they like. And people have finally stopped asking this former homeschooler why I’m not in school.

cartoon high five clap best friend the emperors new groove

Yes, paperwork is annoying and complex; yes, I have to be very careful about my behavior; and yes, I have a lot more random tasks to complete. But whining about it isn’t going to bring me back to childhood- and to be honest, I don’t really want to go back.

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed being a kid. Playing in sandboxes and getting my shoes dirty, eating ice cream not knowing of the existence of calories… all that was nice, but that’s not where I am now. It’s time for me to be an adult. Everyone needs a healthy balance of work and play, and that balance changes as we grow up. That’s how we were made.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 

1 Corinthians 13:11

When it comes down to it, growing up isn’t really about what you’re capable of doing and how well you perform at doing it. It’s about doing what you think is best, screwing up, admitting the mistake, and doing that much better next time. It’s about getting closer to the person God made you to be, and that isn’t really so scary after all.

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9 thoughts on “A Few Things About Adulting

  1. I enjoyed this. 🙂 I’m 18 and going to be 19 this summer. Though I’ve definitely done more “adult” things this past year, I’m still struggling trying to expand my horizons and find things to involve myself outside of my house. I’m not planning on going to college, and I live in a small town so my options feel really limited. Are you attending/planning on going to college?

    Heehee. About not being asked why I’m not in school. Definitely glad those years are past. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad you liked it! Yeah, I’m at Liberty Online University right now, but I also was considering skipping college and finding other projects to work on, taking lots of random classes, or even finding an internship. College is definitely not the only option anymore, nor necessarily the best for everyone.

      LOL, it’s such a relief. Like, excuse you, the whole world is my school! 😀

      Like

  2. Thank you for taking the time to write this! I’m seventeen, will be eighteen here this summer and honestly the thought of officially being an adult is a just a little intimidating sometimes. 🙂 I myself am planning on joining the military with my sister, so I feel pretty confident about that. 😀

    Thanks again for posting this, and I loved the gifs–especially the one of Snape. That was perfect! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know what you mean. It helps a little to know what you’re planning to do in the future, but entering a new stage of life is always scary. And so is joining the military, I’d imagine; thank you in advance for serving our country!

      Thanks, I hoped it would work! I never got through the Harry Potter series, but my sister fills me in on the details. 😉

      Like

  3. HAHA loved the post and I have to agree (as an adult) it’s a lot more complicated, one day you can swing on the swings with no problem. The next (adulthood) you swing on the swings and people call you a pervert and start batting you with anything lying around (Okay not really, but you do get these dumb looks). Man your post made me laugh, it’s kind of fun to think about what I though about being an adult then and what it’s like now 😀 but I guess some could argue that I haven’t changed a bit -.-

    Liked by 1 person

    • Then vs Now, or, a cogent summary of the post by Marrok. 🙂 Seriously, that’s exactly the point- it seems scary at first, but then we all grow up and laugh at how it really is. At least that’s how it’s been so far for me.

      Like

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